Are you self-sabotaging?
How do you know if you are self-sabotaging?
Everyone makes mistakes. Indeed, it is natural to do so. However behaviours that may be described as ‘self-sabotaging’ include anything that…
- you do on a consistent basis,
- it harms you in some way,
- you feel unable to control or stop.
“Harming you in some way” includes mentally, physically or financially.
The key aspect to self-sabotaging behaviour is that the behaviour/response is not readily under the control of the conscious mind.
This means that you either;
- cannot stop it happening
- or can only stop it for a time before the behaviour comes back.
Self-sabotage could include any of the following behaviours…
Yo-yo dieting (e.g. losing weight only to regain it later)
Job cycling (e.g. changing jobs on a periodic basis either through choice or through being dismissed)
Consistently being late
Failing to complete projects (e.g. having done the bulk of the work only to avoid taking the final steps necessary for completion)
Having self-imposed limits (e.g. not being able to break a particular barrier whether it be monetary, sporting or a personal boundary such as weight)
Regularly forgetting things
Loss of focus at critical moments (e.g. In Sport: losing key points or at significant moments; At Work: unable or failing to make essential points/deadlines/closure)
Uncontrollable emotions (e.g. excessive emotion such as anxiety, crying or getting angry during both appropriate and inappropriate times; includes excessive responses such as sweating, throat clearing, and/or other anxious reactions )
Having an exaggerated startle reflex (e.g. anxiety attacks, falling/jumping/screaming at minimal provocation and/or according to a regular internal schedule)
Consistently saying the wrong thing at the wrong time (e.g. at the close of a job interview, meeting, or sale)
Avoidance activities (e.g. Extremes of behaviours such as: over-eating; over-working; excessive day-dreaming or fantasising; excessive drinking and/or drug use; any behaviour designed to avoid you being alone with your thoughts/feelings)
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