Can you share who you really are?

It can be hard to share information with others (especially with those you respect). Particularly when it relates to sharing a doubt, concern or shame you have regarding some aspect of your personality or response to a situation.

You want to solicit their advice, however you fear being rejected. After all … surely it means bad things about you that someone was unhappy with you or that you behaved a particular way, or that you are refusing to be compliant about something.  Do you dare risking being authentic and saying what you really want to?

Refusing to risk is a risk in itself

The irony is that the perceived risk to the relationship (of not being seen as perfect or nice) – if not risked – might actually doom the relationship since it becomes no longer ‘real’.  You retreat behind the mask of  who you think they want you to be.  Failing to admit to having challenges imposes a constraint on who you truly are and eventually becomes a barrier in the relationship.  In addition, if they don’t hear you sharing doubt or uncertainty, then maybe they won’t be comfortable with sharing theirs.  “Can I trust you to know who I am?” is a critical aspect of any relationship.

If the relationship is important, then it is important to be authentic

If the relationship is important, then it is important to be authentic.  To be a whole person, warts and all, not just the ‘shiny bits’.

All of the relationships that have been most beneficial in my life have had those moments when a ‘risk’ had to be taken and a concern shared.  Those were breakthrough moments that led to greater understanding and friendship. To have a friend that truly ‘knows’ you and with whom you can share your uncertainties with is a great gift.  You discover you are not alone.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT.